There is one distinct difference between “self-confidence” and “self-love”. One can be faked and the other can’t. Someone can appear “confident” but it does not necessarily mean they love themselves. However they are innately intertwined. It is always very apparent, to me anyway, when someone doesn’t truly have self-love. As hard we try, we just can’t fake that. Pure self-confidence comes from truly loving yourself. You know that person that you see that just seems to glow?
I always heard the phrase, how can you receive the love of another when you can’t love yourself, and it never made sense to me . Isn’t accepting love easy? It’s just there, right? If we really look at the love we are accepting we will see that it is just an interpretation of what we actually need or of what we feel like we are not getting. It is a pieced together misshapen version of what we are all yearning for. It’s no different from when we read that fortune in the cookie or from a tea bag. Or even when we read our horoscope for the day or have our cards read. We somehow manage to make those words fit into what we imagine or want our life to be, we make it real for us. It’s the same for love, we transform the love from another person into what we need to fill whatever voids or holes we have in our heart, mind or ego that day. We aren’t actually just accepting the love. I believe this is natural, it’s what we are supposed to do. It’s the reason why we all need relationships and friends and lovers. The problem comes in when we start blaming others for not loving us the way we want to be loved. Or allowing it to be an excuse for why we can’t be the person we want to be. The people who truly love you, love you to the very best of their ability. How selfish for us think that we can ask for a certain kind of love when what we truly need to do is love ourselves and allow the love we receive from others be a bonus. We all need to be honest with ourselves because deep down we all know what we need and we are the only people who can make that happen for us.
So… how can you receive the love of another when you can’t love yourself ? You can’t, you don’t truly accept the love that anyone is capable of giving until you can love yourself. Does this mean you shouldn’t be in relationships until you reach this ideal place in your life, no, absolutely not! Relationships are what help you grow, develop and hopefully learn what love is. What it does mean is that we need to make self-love a priority, something we are constantly working towards in our lives. You know that list of life goals you have? It needs to be at the top of that list. It is about acceptance for the kind of love you do receive. It is about being grateful for what people can give you and not what they don’t. It is about looking at yourself everyday and knowing that you have done everything you can do to be a better person then the day before and maybe you have helped someone along the way love themselves too!
So here are some things you can do everyday to love yourself a little more:
Practice Self-Care
What does that mean? For everyone that is going to be different. Find something you really love doing and do it everyday. It can be a morning routine. Some nightly relaxation or meditation or afternoon yoga. It doesn’t have to be insane. For me it’s waking up early every morning and getting in some yoga before the kids wake-up, 15-20 minutes… that’s it. If I can get more great, if not, fine.
Chose Nourishing Foods
Make sure you eat healthy. When we put whole nourishing foods in our bodies, our bodies thank us. We receive the vital nutrients that we need and our body begins to become balanced. We no longer have to deal with sugar and caffeine crashes. Hormone disturbances and stomach issues.
Drink Water
We have all heard this one before but it is oh so important. Your body is mostly made up of water. It is vital to cell function. When we are dehydrated we wreak havoc on our bodies and it comes out in form of cravings, dizziness, headaches, muscle aches and mood swings. No coffee, soda and sports drinks don’t count, not to mention all the crap in them.
Get Some Sleep
This one was so hard for me, it still is. I always just have one more thing I need to do or clean or worse, watch on TV, before I go to bed. I didn’t know how much it affected me until I actually started sleeping. When I do sleep I have more patience throughout the day, I can think more clearly and I actually end up being more productive. My secret is cutting back on caffeine.